1st real blog..

Finally want to write something on here le.. at least no one will come n check my blog n c wat had happen to me...

at least i can express my feeling in here without letting other ppl know wat im thinking about...

or maybe shud say bcoz i don hav any gud fren to share v me... im not a gud listener somemore... tats y they wont listen to me...

today wednesday.. a bad wednesday n makin me damn moody n emo today... i dono why?! mayb lots of facts... college hav no close frens, hard to communicate v them... feelin im not in any gang of them... wanna make frens, but seems like no chance.. or shud say i don hav any confident... afraid ppl tot me is a freak guy.. i dono.. i feel im not da old time of me..

jz now evening class late by 10 minutes back to class after break, lecturer marked me late n goin to reduce my marks.. i hav ntg to explain.. it is my wrong anywhr.. today feelin like goin no where... wanna watch movie v fren.. but most of them watched da movie v their partner.. other rejected me somemore.. haiz... lonely life is like tat..

after backed to home, my mom keep scolding.. 'everyday got so many activities, every nite go out v frens, spend money like wasting water, n bla bla bla bla bla bla...' tats make me feel more frustrated... seems like everyting is my fault.. MONEY!! another issue again... it reli make me headache.. every month need to pay car loan, study loan, phone bill, fitness membership, food, petrol, toll, entertainment, a lots new stuff to buy... im reli a person who dono spend money wisely.. tats why untill now i hav no saving!!! a POOR guy... how to change tis situation? i dono.. stop my study n find a high pay salary job? i tink i don hav tat qualification... feelin im jz like rubbish in somewhere big garbage...

jz had a big war v first bro, kenneth.. bcoz of a computer mouse... all bcoz im already moody... he came in a wrong time........ sry bro... mayb we wont talk to each other for many days le.. or maybe for few months or whole life... maybe..

im already stopped my conversation v my youngest bro, gabryel for many months ago coz of fighting.. im stil remembered he broke my toilet's door tat time.. im reli angry v his attitude... everytime i talked bout his bad attitude... or maybe i din realise my own bad attitude got a lots too.. tats y cant get a best fren...

oh yeaa.. jz now after fight v my bro, im feelin my left chest pain again.. i suspect my heart reli got prob... bcoz tis is not da first time dy... but who care la?! so i wont care it oso la... i tink maybe someday i die of heart attack... not bad oso ma..

actually i stil got lots n lots to write it down in here... my past of my love life, how my best fren betrayed me, wat im done wrong in tis few years, y now onli back to study, why stopped study half way,... but my head is stuck now...

next time la..

@nGu$